Not many folks here on earth are given the gift by their Lord of knowing
their time here is short.....and to see and accept it as a "gift" is
NOT easy. Speaking for myself," I have walked this path with my Mom" and
it was a privilege.....and with that privilege came a LOT of emotional
pain...and an amazing peace.....right in the middle of the emotional ups and downs.
I've had this portion of what I wrote in my first entry bouncing around in my heart and head for weeks now. And it is time to set the record straight....The path I walked with my Mom was unique to her, my relationship with her and her life experiences and personality. The ONLY thing the same is; we knew her time was short and we had God with us.and Hospice help.
The relationship one has with a loved one varies and thus the walk with them as you face the end of your lives together IS different. Do I still believe it is a privilege...YES.....filled with HIS PEACE...YES.....RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR UPS AND DOWNS!
Doug has been so blessed with friends, family and visitors locally, it has blown him away. He never realized he was loved and cared for so much! He has had many phone conversation that have brought deep inner healing and restoration of broken relationships. He has said many a time over the last few weeks.."If I knew folks would be this loving, I'd have said I was dying a long time ago!"
The best family time was when Curt, Elaine, Leah, Jeff and their girls came for a visit between Thanksgiving and Christmas ♥ Those days spent together went waaay beyond his wildest dreams of JOY and family unity ♥ The hours spent on our front porch laughing and sharing our hearts full of love...PRICELESS ♥ We were BLESSED with PERFECT weather ♥ He said it was the BEST VISIT HE'D EVER HAD WITH FAMILY ♥ (NOT to say all the others were not good...just that this one was EXTRA SPECIAL!) ♥ I'm sporting a beautiful winter shawl, and Doug has some soft and very nice warm sweat pants from Elaine and Curt...and He also has the softest blue flannel robe from Leah and Jeff! Leah...he wraps himself up with it, EVERY time he goes out on the porch! We were so blessed by their generosity ♥ Our afternoon in Arrow rock was made EXTRA SPECIAL by Brenda Christy's special attention to us as we visited and SHOPPED in her BEAUTIFUL Store! Then from there we went to Blackwater for our VERY Special Traditional Christmas Dinner at The Iron Horse Restaurant ! The folks there went out of their way to make that dinner and evening the BEST EVER ♥ ♥ We ALL made memories we will hold in our hearts FOREVER ♥ Parting from each other at the end of our time together was such "sweet sorrow" though.....I don't think I ever understood the depth of the meaning of those words before! We sure miss you all so much!
Aleksandran, Jada, (Leah and Jeff's two girls)....Brenda and Elaine...Elaine is sporting her new scarf!...
Christmas...well, let's just say, "we got through it." I was sick the week prior and after....It was also time when we were doing more paper work to settle financial things after The Lord calls him home....Power of Attorney..and all that "stuff".....it seems like we keep coming up with more legal papers to get signed...in case "this happens" or "that happens"......and making "final arrangements"..we still have more papers to process.....let's just say...it wasn't what one would choose to be concentrating on over "The Holidays"!...... The good news is we were able to get these things done....things EVERYONE should do, actually.....But we had put off over the years.......Hospice has been a HUGE blessing with ALL of this! ....Our little Christmas Tree was brought up from the basement Christmas morning.....and it's STILL sitting on the trunk.....waiting to be "Bagged up" and taken back to the basement......it'll get there one day....Renee and Steve and Rio spent Christmas with us...Steve made a fantastic dinner...He's the BEST cook eva!....It was a nice quiet day...surrounded by family who love us ♥ New Years....just another night to go to sleep early and then New Years day OFF TOGETHER ♥ ♥
So, now we're 12 days into this new year........and He is STILL walking with us...moment by moment....STILL blessing us with so very much! A couple of the men from church (Bubba and Paul), have been visiting with Doug each week...such a BLESSING!....We have been monetarily blessed by Hospice and friends...WAAAY beyond our wildest dreams! And I just have to share our latest blessing...A very dear friend came for a visit last Sunday and asked if she could buy our house!....NOW THAT made both our jaws drop! She'd prayed about it...and had just been waiting for the "right time" to tell us.....HIS TIMING IS ALWAYS PERFECT....The details still have to be worked out...but HE IS SO in control...My question to myself was...WHY AM I SO SURPRISED? Our GOD IS GOOD.....ALL THE TIME... Where will we go?.....We're already looking for a place....(if anyone in our area knows of a place that will be available for rent in May.....let me know.) We'd like Senior Housing...But I KNOW HE ALREADY KNOWS how this will all work out! He has us covered...and the prayers of friends and family are being answered...His way...His Timing...I am reminded of one of our daily readings from "Jesus Calling"
"Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen BEFORE their times come. One of the ways I assert MY sovereignty is in the TIMING of events. If you want to stay close to ME and do things MY way, ask ME to show you the path forward MOMENT BY MOMENT. Instead of dashing toward your goal, let ME set the pace. SLOW DOWN, and ENJOY the journey in MY Presence" (Caps mine) Taken from my daily reading in "Jesus Calling"
Luke 1:7 "For NOTHING is impossible WITH GOD!"
Doug and I are still doing our morning devotions together.....not every morning, but when he is feeling OK and awake. STILL listening to our Gaither Homecoming Video's....I got that special cord and so I can put the video's from YouTube up on our big screen and we both can see and listen to them as I get ready for work in the mornings. We are able to Skype and he can see family and friends easily up on the big screen! Problem is...he's NOT happy about folks seeing him! But he let's me put the camera on him for a few minutes anyway!
Hospice comes 3 times a week....Doug's had a couple of pretty rough times, but they are ALWAYS here as fast as they can get here! His courage and strength fluctuates from day to day...sometimes, hour by hour...It's a tough adjustment to have a nurse help you with your persona care.....feeling his strength slowly slip away from him.....to be "stuck" home...no truck...not getting out for a ride around the country side like he has done ever since we moved to Missouri. He has ALWAYS LOVED the farm country around here. He'd ride for hours all over Copper and Howard County...by himself and with Rio..and sometimes he and Rio would even let me go with them!l .......On the positive side....He has so enjoyed phone calls from old friends he grew up with, like Tommy Sammons....and of course his son William! He and William talk almost daily! It's great for both of them!.......Yet he sure hasn't "given up"! His sense of humor is as crazy and strong as ever.....this mornings example was; and I quote, "Hay Honey, I know what I want to "Come Back as!.... Me... "What Doug?" Doug.... "My head encased in a bowling ball! It would be so cool! No one else would have one like it! Me..."Sure Doug! I''ll have it encased in clear hard plastic." NOW what else do you say to an idea like THAT....from a loved one on Hospice?! ! That's my Man.
As for me....your prayers to our loving God keep me going! There are days that going to work....(leaving Doug home alone).... and caring for other folks loved one makes me want to cry...and sometimes I do....then His gentle Spirit reminds me of just how much He loves us both....how much He has blessed us...and how much strength He provides us with....DAILY! A couple of friends have said to me, "I don't know how you do it! You are always so up beat and happy! My answer....."Without The Lord...I'd be a sniffling heap of tears on the floor every day!" The prayers of you all DO make a huge difference for BOTH Doug and I! We both have done things we "never thought we could do.".....Our daily time with Him is our foundation for each day.....The portion below of another devotional from "Jesus Calling" was just ANOTHER of HIS reminders to us both...JUST what we needed that day.
"True dependence is NOT simply asking Me to bless what YOU have decided to do. It is coming to ME with an OPEN mind
and heart, inviting Me to plant MY desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach.
You KNOW that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal.
Thus begins your journey of PROFOUND RELIANCE ON ME. It is a FAITH-WALK, take ONE STEP AT A TIME, leaning on ME as much as you need. This is NOT a path of continual success but of MULTIPLE failures. However, each failure is followed by a GROWTH
SPURT, nourished by INCREASED RELIANCE ON ME!
ENJOY THE BLESSEDNESS of a VICTORIOUS life, through deepening your dependence on ME.
PS. 34:17 & 18 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He
delivers them from ALL their troubles. The Lord is CLOSE to the
brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
2 Cor. 5:7 For we walk by faith, NOT by sight. (Jesus Calling Jan 5th 2013"
Boy do I know those failures!.....the growth spurts....well, in time.....looking back over these months, the growth will be more evident......now....I choose to keep my eyes and heart on HIM ♥ For I KNOW I CANNOT ACHIEVE SUCH A GOAL WITHOUT HIM! So Lord...infuse YOUR dreams deep within Doug and I as we continue our journey of PROFOUND RELIANCE ON YOU. It IS a faith walk, taken ONE STEP AT A TIME, LEANING ON HIM as often as we need to!
Thank you all for your continued prayers and love. The phone calls are wonderful. He's getting pretty good at letting folks know if he's tired and when he needs to hang up. After a call, he'll go over the memories each conversation has remind him of ♥ His walks down memory lane have been good!
Oh...and on another note...if you bless us with your comments..PLEASE post them on this site...(Otherwise I paste and copy them here)....they are ALWAYS a blessing...and BE SURE YOU PUT YOUR NAME WITHIN THE POST ♥